Day 20

Have Fewer Opinions

Words by

Photography by

There was a time when having an opinion meant something. It implied you’d read, listened, thought … and then decided. But today? Well, opinions are cheap. Everyone has one, on everything, almost immediately. And most of them just add noise, not insight.

For men especially, the pressure to react can feel constant. News cycles refresh hourly. Group chats demand commentary. Social feeds reward certainty over accuracy. Having a take becomes a reflex rather than a conclusion. And the result isn’t confidence, it’s fatigue.

The men who stand out now aren’t louder or more decisive. They’re quieter, more selective and far more comfortable saying nothing at all. That restraint reads as discernment—and discernment, handled well, is a form of authority.

Let Opinions Earn Their Keep

If you haven’t done the reading, lived the experience or thought through the tradeoffs, you don’t owe anyone a conclusion. Silence isn’t ignorance—it’s judgment waiting to be earned. The best opinions usually arrive late, after the initial noise fades.

Stop Confusing Reaction With Thought

Most modern opinions are reactions to headlines, tone or group dynamics, not actual thinking. Pausing creates distance from the emotional charge of the moment and lets you decide whether something truly warrants your attention. Not everything does.

Choose a Few Domains and Go Deep

Discernment requires boundaries. Pick a small number of subjects you genuinely care about—your work, health, style, relationships—and invest there. Let the rest pass without comment. Depth is what gives opinions weight.

Use Listening as Leverage

If you weigh in on everything, people stop listening. If you speak selectively, they pay attention. People notice who actually listens. Asking good questions and absorbing context builds trust and sharpens judgment. When you speak less often but more thoughtfully, your words carry more impact. Your reputation isn’t shaped by how often you talk, but by the quality of the few opinions you choose to express.

Embrace the Humility

Mark Manson, the best-selling author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, says that one of the best side effects of having less opinions is that it fosters humility. It also means you’re less likely to fall prey to the Dunning-Kruger effect (basically overconfidence from lack of knowledge) and more open to learning.

How to Bow Out of a Hot Take Gracefully

You don’t need to announce disengagement. A nod, a neutral response or “Honestly, I’m still thinking about it” keeps you present without performing certainty. Silence, when handled casually, often reads as confidence, not avoidance.