They're not all winners, but Reddit's constantly updated list has some gems now and then. Here are a few recent favorites.

• If I think my life is pointless while on the couch, I'm depressed. If I think my life is pointless while walking through the woods, I'm a deep soul.
• When I pay for coffee at work, I'm essentially making less money to be more productive.
• I bet pilots silently judge each other's landings whenever they fly as a passenger.
• I have no problem swallowing saliva while it's in my mouth, but once I spit it in a glass it becomes disgusting to even think about swallowing.
• The purpose of a lock is to turn a door into a wall.