Identify Your Triggers
According to M.J. Ryan, author of The Power of Patience, impatience is the "fight" component of our primal fight-or-flight response. That's why we react to irritating situations as if these encounters were more dire than they actually are. And this is why it's up to us to recognize which situations set us off—slow drivers, long lines or technological interruptions—in order to take control of those situations and prevent any future irritation.
Stop Imagining the Ideal
Much of our impatience stems from feeling caught in a situation that we imagined would be different. You're running a little late for work, and then you get stuck in traffic. The experience becomes more frustrating because you were imagining dashing through empty streets and getting there just in time. Brené Brown, the author and research professor who's given some of the most-viewed talks on TED.com, suggests talking to yourself as a self-compassion practice. "To avoid getting antsy when I am writing and can't find specific words for my thoughts, I tell myself that I'm not going to quit even if I become frustrated," she says. "I'll say out loud, 'You're not perfect ... writing can be a messy process, and it's not ideal, but you can handle it.'"
Just Breathe
Take deep, slow breaths—in through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Count to 10 as you do this exercise. Just the act of breathing deeply with intention can help slow your heart rate, relax the tension in your jaw and muscles, and distances you emotionally from the situation causing your stress. If you're feeling really impatient, you might need to do a longer count, or repeat this several times.
Embrace the Lesson
Often what tests our patience are those situations where we don't feel like we have control. Since you can't change the situation, embrace it as a lesson. Pain often has its purposes. It pushes us to find solutions or recognize something we would've otherwise overlooked. Stuck in line? Utilize the time to let your mind wander and just people watch. Sarah A. Schnitker, an associate professor of psychology and neuroscience at Baylor University, suggests using a powerful technique called cognitive reappraisal, which means thinking about a situation differently. After all, you can't make people move faster but you can change how you view the situation.
