How to Take
More Control
of Your Life

Let's face it: there is a lot in life that isn't under your control. But one thing you can always control is your effort. In any situation, your enthusiasm and motivation is up to you. Do you show up to a meeting prepared to make your points heard? Or do you roll in late without a pen? Do you go for a personal best at the gym? Or do you put in a few half-hearted reps and throw in the towel early? You're in control. Even when you decide that you don't have the energy to give 110% that day, make the call and take the pressure off yourself. Decide when you want to push and when you want to relax, that way, you don't feel like you're coming up short.

In any self-improvement plan, you're going to hear something about sleep. But think of it this way: you inadvertently stay up later than you meant to and now you worry you won't get enough sleep. Now you can't work out like you planned to before work. Or you hit the snooze button so many times that you don't have time to shave or have breakfast before leaving the house. The best medical authorities repeatedly recommend that if you plan for a solid seven to eight hours of sleep and go to bed and wake up at the same time each day, you'll be better off. And that's because you'll develop a routine that will provide order and a sense of control to your daily life.

Nothing saps you quite like feeling you're buried under commitments. You feel rushed or you feel like you can't do anything well because there's simply too much to do. When this happens, life coach and founder of The Action Solution, Sid Savara, suggests cutting back on commitments to take back your attention and thus, your time. Even when it seems like there's nothing you can cut, take a hard look. Make the difficult decision to let some things go. Rather than trying to do everything, instead focus on doing just a few things well. "When I am driven by outside commitments, I no longer have control of my own time," says Savara. "When I am instead driven by my internal drive and goals, that's when I control my time—and my life."

Look, any vice worth its guilt has its usefulness. Be it alcohol, drugs, caffeine or porn. But the problem with vices is that they tend to mess with your mind and body and make you crave them more and more. Try cutting back your consumption—by half or by a third—and most likely, you'll reap the same benefits when you need them. You might even enjoy them a little more now. Better yet, you'll stop feeling so dependent and you'll realize a greater sense of control over your time and needs.

Let's be real, it takes courage to ask for something. But once you do, you're guaranteed clarity because you'll know the answer. It's the not knowing that robs us of control and the opportunity for growth. "When we don't ask for what we want, we make way too many assumptions on what is possible for our lives and massively limit what we can be, do and have," says life coach Susie Moore, author of What If It Does Work Out?. "It also limits our opportunities to give back to others, as there is no such thing as a one-way street when it comes to the law of giving and receiving."