⋆ People that make “That's what she said” jokes are actually good listeners.

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⋆ The measurement unit “dollop” is rarely ever used for anything other than sour cream.

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⋆ It's a lot easier to say “world wide web” than spell out www.

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⋆ You cannot raise your children the way your parents raised you. Because your parents raised you for a world that no longer exists.

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⋆ An onion is the bass player of food. You would probably not enjoy it solo, but you'd miss it if it wasn't there.