⋆ It's kinda weird how we basically have an endless mental conversation with ourselves.

⋯

⋆ Dad jokes are where a man's creative energies go when it's no longer appropriate to use pick up lines.

⋯

⋆ We eat chickens before they're alive and after they are dead.

⋯

⋆ The guy who flinches when someone pretends to punch him is way more prepared for a punch than the person who just stands there unflinchingly.

⋯

⋆ Instagram is like a classmate who says your joke louder and people laugh.