⋆ Labeling something “military grade” makes it seem so high quality, unless it's food.

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⋆ Vanilla is a term used for being white and plain, but it's actually black and exotic.

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⋆ Adulthood is finally making enough money to do the things you've always wanted, but can't because you have to spend it on things you never knew you needed.

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⋆ Socks run the gamut of human emotions. New socks are a joy. Wet socks are a misery. Itchy socks are annoying. A sock with a hole is disappointing. Fun socks are playful. Smelly socks are disgusting. But most of the time socks work fine and go unnoticed.

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⋆ The last 10% of a tube of toothpaste lasts about as long as the first 90%.

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⋆ This whole “spring the clocks forward one hour” thing would be so much more popular if it was done at 4 pm on a Friday.