How to Win the Battle
Against Sweaty Balls
Scientifically proven ways to stay cool and dry below the belt
Let’s face it, hot and humid weather can be a real bitch. And when it comes to suffering through sweltering temperatures, one of the worst side effects has to be swap crotch. Or swamp ass. You know it as that perfect storm of uncomfortable clamminess below the belt, as well as the resulting stickiness, chaffing, jock itch and general unpleasantness. For decades, men have tried to combat the dampness by applying powder—usually baby powder or that old time-y staple, Gold Bond. Honestly, I've tried a few of these powders (even modern-looking brands that have been sent to the office) and I've never been impressed.
For starters, it's just not that easy to apply a powder upside down. I've found no convenient way to powder my balls and inner thighs without dusting the bathroom floor. And if you happen to apply a little too much, it can feel a little gunky in your underwear afterwards. Thankfully, there is a myriad of ways a modern gentleman can ensure he stays drier and cooler down south. Which means you'll be more comfortable and confident throughout the day. The real bonus? No chaffing or irritation later on. Here's what worked for me. Use it as your own four-step plan for combating swap crotch.
Start in
With the right soap, you can neutralize the bacteria and fungus that cause odor and itches. Tea tree oil and charcoal are hard-working natural ingredients that can keep you fresh and kill any germs that might otherwise lead to uncomfortable results at the end of a long day. Be sure to get the benefits from it though: really lather it up and wash the areas that sweat the most: your armpits, groin and feet.
Tea tree body wash, $13.95 by Botanic Hearth
Tea tree body bar,
$12.50 by Paul Mitchell
Purifying wash,
$21 by Brothers Artisan Oil
Slather (or spray) on some powder
It's 2023. We don't need to shake on powder to stay dry. New formulations of creams and sprays essentially turn to powder once they make contact with the skin. Meaning they go on without any mess and still absorb moisture while reducing friction or chafing. Plus, they can easily be applied to other parts of your body, from your feet to your back.
No Sweat Body Defense, $22 by Anthony
Anti-Everything body powder spray, $13.99 by Oars + Alps
Fresh Balls non-talc lotion, $11.95 by Fresh Body
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Reconsider your underwear
Your standard boxer briefs can get a bit stuffy and clingy in the heat. But a pair of loose boxer shorts will help circulate the air. There are options like those below that are lightweight and won't bunch up in your pants. But if you prefer boxer briefs, go with pairs cut from moisture-wicking and antimicrobial materials.
Silver boxer brief,
$38 by Mack Weldon
Superfit Cool trunk,
$24.99 (for two pack) by Pair of Thieves
Pima cotton slim boxer,
$24 by Nice Laundry
Classic boxer,
$55 by Sunspel
Switch up
your diet
If you find yourself perspiring a lot during the summer, try to stay away from food or drinks that are known to activate your sweat glands. According to Hooman Khorasani, MD, a board-certified dermatologist in New York, that would be anything that is overly spicy or contains a lot of salt. Caffeinated or alcoholic drinks should be avoided too. But drinking more water will keep your body cool and properly hydrated, which can reduce your body's natural sweat response.
Monitor your sweating
If you've done all of the above and still find that your undercarriage is uncomfortably moist, then audit your recent behavior when you find yourself sweating. Had you just been sitting for a long time? Consider working from a standing desk or setting a timer as a reminder to get up and move around. Perhaps you're anxious or stressed? If you are able to identify the reason why your body started sweating, then you may be able to avoid a repeat in the future.
Go on the Offense
One way to keep the swamp under control is with regular trimming. The less hair down there, the less insulation for heat to build up, right? Our team has tested out a wide range of trimmers to ensure you get the best one for your particular needs.
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